Last post on the .com

As I mentioned about a week ago, I decided to move this blog to my actual domain.

As of right now I am 99% done with the work.  So: go, enjoy and leave comments.  Right now most of the entries from here are the only things there.  New entries will all be there though and eventually I will delete the posts from here.

Next, finish the development of my new technology and speaking blog.

Book Review: Disarming the Narcissist

Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary

This book is not for me.  Let me explain why before you think this is just some negative review.  I say this because I am a narcissist.  Albeit a mild, mostly conversational narcissist, but still I am one.  I picked up this book at Book Expo in 2010 knowing it was not really for me, but hoping for some self-help style insight into narcissism and how I can make things better for the people who deal with me.  I really like to talk about myself, but I would rather be engaged and interested in hearing about other people.  Also, I wanted to understand more about how people may already be dealing with me.

Behary has combined the self-help genre with a bit more real psychology to help people disarm their favorite narcissists.  I enjoyed reading the first third of the book where Behary explains why people typically develop narcissism.  To read about the different types of narcissists was very helpful at calming my own sense of panic.   Behary does a great job giving example of specific narcissist and how people in their lives have turned to therapy (and thus her) to help improve situations.  She does indicate that each sex (and she discusses it in relationships between people of opposite sex) has a tendency to focus on specific types of narcissism. I thought she did a great job making a very complex idea into something that the lay person can easily understand and identify.

As a self-help book I struggled.  She frequently uses her patients as an example and herself, as the therapist, as someone interacting with the narcissist.  While this POV was great in the psych section, self-help (from my own reading) tends to focus on a much more personal level of example.  I always felt people want to identify with a self-help author and its difficult to do that when your author maintains her authority as a therapist.  While I, personally, appreciate the authority on this topic, I don’t think it works well in self-help.

I also struggled with the distinction in the objective of this book.  This book isn’t about changing the narcissist, but about changing how you interact with a narcissist.  This is why I originally picked it up.  I wanted to learn how I could change.  I wanted to see what a therapist was telling other people to do to disarm a narcissist.  My hope was to do it myself.  This is not Behary fault, but the way the book is publicized, described and even titled.

I am going to pass this one on to Amanda.  I am glad I read the first half of this book.  I have a much better understanding of why I am the way I am and even what triggers my reactions to others. If you want to understand more about narcissism I do suggest the first half of this book.

 

Moving blog again? Yep!

I have been thinking about it for a few months and I have decided to move my blog again.  This time I am going to use wordpress on my own domain.  I didn’t go out and buy a domain for just this.  I have had it for years as a professional portfolio.  I haven’t even put a dent in the space I pay for.  It made sense for me to use it for blogging too.

There are other reasons.  Primarily that I cannot use Java and such scripting in this free blog because it is against the rules.  This includes links to books in amazon, Good Reads apps, knitting project progress bars, and many more cool toys.  It is going to be a while for me to get things moved over.  Until then I will probably post a few more things.  An announcement will be made with the new link.

Keep an eye out for the new blog!

My So Called Scarf

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originally uploaded by librarygurl.

When I went to the WEBS Tent sale – whenever that was in time… I forget- I went with my list of projects and yarns to get for them. This project, this lovely scarf was on the list. The moment I saw Debbie Bliss’ tweed yarn in bright pink I knew I had to have it and I had to make this scarf with it.
The scarf I made for Kelli, my Ravelry Birthday Swap partner. We had to make her one item and she is a crocheter herself. She can do basic knitting so I wanted to make her something a bit more complex and pretty. This scarf was perfect with the tweed yarn, the bright pink and the interesting pattern. She got it this weekend so now I can share the picture with you.
The yarn was a dream to work with, but the pattern was not as easy as it seems. It took me two rip-downs to finally get the hang on it, but once I did figure it out I just flew through the project.
In the end the scarf was so beautiful, so thick and warm for a DK weight tweed. I still have a number of skeins left and I can’t wait to try another project with it!

 

See the project on Ravelry

On Turning 35

I remember, at 25, watching the Sex and the City episode when Carrie turns 35.  Basically she freaks out because she has to choose a different box on those age-range questions on surveys.  I remember thinking at the time that I would not at all freak out about turning 35.  At the very least, I would not freak out over something so petty.

So here I am, almost a week after I have turned 35 (b-day was on the 7th) and I can tell you I did not freak out.  Not only about something to petty, but pretty much at all.  I was more upset to turn 30 than I was to turn 35.  I think I am more worried about 40 than I am 35.

Why was I freaked out about 30?  I was freaked out because it officially made me old to the 16-year-old I still thought myself to be.  In the sense that you don’t trust people over 30.  It was one of those moments when I realized I was in a totally new world.  At 30 I was making decisions and determining they true to who I imagined myself to be.  At 30 I was still pretty broke and painfully aware I needed to get a new job.  I was also new to a town and knew nobody.  I was struggling at 30 to remember that it would be ok if I just chugged along.

At 35 I am in a wonderful place and about to finish a number of things I took on at 30.  I am nearly done with my second masters degree.  I have a year under my belt at that new job I knew I needed 5 years ago.  I found the friends I had been looking for and built a family of people I want to surround myself with.  I have done things I never considered at 30: owning a home and considering what retirement will really look like.  I have been to Paris, San Francisco, Seattle, Germany and I am going to Chicago in a month.  I knit with yarn I never even dreamed I could afford 5 years ago.

For the next three years I am already considering what I want to accomplish.  I am more confident that I can do anything I want because I survived the last 5 years.  So bring it on 35.  Carrie has nothing on me.

Lev’s Whale Tail Hat

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originally uploaded by librarygurl.

Here is one of the projects I made for Lev/ This small newborn hat has a cute whale tail on the top. I picked this because whales are the theme of his bedroom. I wanted him to have something that went with this theme.
The yarn was the same soft yarn I used for the elephant.

Lev’s Blanket

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originally uploaded by librarygurl.

Emily, Adam and Lev have officially received their gifts. This means I can show you more! Here is the blanket I made for Lev. I wanted to play with cables and this blanket was perfect. I loved the subtle cables and the V shape they create.
Side note, one of the Java Room knitters thinks the cables looks a bit like feathers and is using this pattern for a Big Bird inspired blanket.
Anyway, This was my first cable project of the summer/late spring and was my official attempt to really learn cables. The last time I did it I had troubles because I kept twisting the cable stitches and I didn’t pull tight enough. This time I got a better cable needle (the straight needle with the dip rather than the U-shaped needle).
The yarn is my favorite Wool-ese Thick and Quick because it is so soft and warm and child friendly. The color is their denim style color (navy and light blue blend).

See the project on Ravelry